Hello everyone! It will probably be after midnight by the time this has been published; so the age old question is: is it good morning or is it good evening? (cue raised eye emoji) It was exactly 4 weeks ago when I was last behind the keyboard when I was penned part 1 of the RONIN Fitness Blog, and truth be told, if you are expecting to be reading part 2, it is with great regret that I inform you that this will not be the case. Truth be told, a monotonous training campaign is a lot more fun in practice than it is writing about it; and admittedly, I did start writing it, however, how many times in a single publication did you want to read about me coming home from work, falling asleep, waking up at some stupid time of night, busting out a work out and then scrambling to get 4 hours of sleep? That has sadly remained the pattern of things, some 6 weeks or so after kicking off the new campaign. Throw in a couple of missed Saturday workouts, and an irresponsibly lazy and unproductive bank holiday weekend, and that is pretty much my campaign as of August 28th (I nearly wrote July! These 6 weeks have been nothing short of a whirlwind!)
So, then what am I writing about today then you ask? Well actually, it is born from an interaction I had with a young man last week. I had finished my Wednesday Muay Thai class (there’s a fitness tie in for you!), and my right foot and leg were writhing in pain following 5 rounds of kicking legs, shins, knees, elbows and flesh! So anyway, I was in the changing room and there a few young bucks (to quote Andy Frisella) reflecting on their workout, The question that I get asked quite often was asked again: “do you compete?” or when I pull the wool over the eyes good enough, the question is changed to “when are you competing/fighting next?”, my response is always candidly that while I did compete in my early 20’s, I had 3 amateur MMA bouts between 2010-2011, my lifestyle choices now (and for the last 6 years!) have not been in alignment with the requisite focus or actions that this endeavour requires. Put simply, you’re cruising for a bruising thinking you can half arse your way competing, and truth be told, while I always performed quite well, I hated the pre-fight nerves and angst, and while I could ramble ad-nauseum about fear etc, let’s try to stay on topic!
So, after explaining why I don’t compete, I always like to say that I’m happy to test myself against the animals on the mat in sparring, that’s enough for me! I then went on to ask the young man as to what his aspirations were as far as competition was concerned, and the talk invariably came to the grind and struggle of daily gym life. Recounting my experiences in this game, I recalled times when I got the ever loving shit kicked out of me, especially in some of those Muay Thai spars back in the day, and still on the mat in wrestling to this day, and unless you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a lop sided beating, it is difficult to comprehend the level of trepidation, insecurity, self-doubt and angst that you go through on the back of an ass kicking. You tell yourself things such as: “everyone was watching me get battered”, “I am useless”, “How shit must I be?”, “I got the crap beat out of me!”, and just about every other soul crushing, demoralising analysis you can give yourself; this then, depending on your self-esteem, your ego, the value of training etc will the determine whether or not you ever throw yourself back into the fire, and when you are telling yourself the worst possible narrative on earth; why on earth would you!?
That then leads me to what I believe is the hardest part of the ‘training journey’, and as you will also discover runs true for the ‘life journey’ too; one’s ability to persevere and rebound from set-back, and the delay of enough gratification to see the fruits of your labour actually materialise. Your success in this endeavour in the training realm, in my opinion, can be attributed to one’s matter of perspective…
So continuing with the story, I then reminded the young man, of my struggles, but also how I learnt to deal with them over the years, namely, that the only way to overcome a bad training session, a poor day at the office; however you wish to describe it, and that is by dusting your ass off, and getting right back on that same horse! During my years on the mats, I have reminded myself that while it’s easy to dial in on the bad times, detach yourself from the situation, take an ‘outside looking in’ perspective, and look, a crap training session tells me two things: the first, that it can’t get any worse than this right? You’re already broken both mentally and physically, can tempered glass get any more shattered past that point? Furthermore, a bad workout, an ass kicking on the mat is usually the impetus I need to ensure that I don’t feel so bad next time! The reality of being humbled, is that provided your ego doesn’t intervene and look for protection for itself (and you don’t honour it), you actually stand to learn so much more from your licks, than you ever will from any time you thought you were ‘large and in charge’. This experience is a huge part of the process; it reminds you that you are human, it reminds that you always have be fertile enough to learn in order to improve, it keeps you grounded within the paradigm of your ego and ability, it keeps you hungry and it keeps you honest, and crucially, actually accelerates your progression.
So that interchange concluded with me giving my 2 cents on the matter, the hardships of being in the gym day in, day out, and the grind that comes with taking this pursuit as seriously as it truly warrants, and on his merry way did the fella go; however, there was another lad who was privy to this discourse, and what he said really touched my heart, and only reaffirmed my need to try and inspire others and spread this type of message. He told me something to effect of: (I’m paraphrasing) “Thank you, I really needed to hear that! I’ve been going through a lot of shit recently, and that was exactly what I needed to hear right now!”
Hearing that was one of the most humbling experiences I’ve enjoyed in my life! It’s not about being “Mr Motivator”, as you know, I believe in inspiration over motivation, no, it’s the idea that your words and your experiences were of value to someone, a youth no less, making it even more rewarding. This is your legacy as a person who has trained for so long, who has experienced hardship in any endeavour; it gives your words merit and authenticity, it amplifies the passion with you speak from and enhances the opportunity for your message to be resonated. So that’s why I chose to share this story with you; maybe you can draw inspiration and apply the principles to something you are enduring, or maybe for it to just exist as a friendly reminder that you are on the right track, and that your so-called set backs are actually your propellers!
Speaking of that thing called the ego, the reality is that: the angst, the doubt, the fear, the insecurity and all the feelings we usually associate with getting your ass beat in sparring, emanates from the ego; it is your ego that is reeling from the experience, and it’s your ego that wants to do all it takes to never have to feel that level of nakedness or exposure, and the reality is that, it has convinced us all and one point or another, and likely still does wield a significant degree of control over you, especially as it pertains to notions that are born from a place of lack; ideals such as: “if this fails then people are going to laugh at me”, “I think everyone is watching me, and laughing at me” and other defeatist stances of the same ilk. Yes, people may laugh, but if you are doing the right thing, and acting from a place of authenticity, and are contributing to your mission; does it really matter who draws “amusement” from your struggle? At least you had the courage to try, at least you had the courage to fail; something, I would wager that none of your detractors ever had the fortitude to even dare to dream, let alone dare to fail. The likelihood pertaining to the latter point, is that nobody is probably watching, and even less people probably care; were all going through enough bullshit of our own to honestly care if you got beat up in the gym once on a Wednesday!
So, there you have it people! Some 15 days after I originally started writing this, it’s finally out for publication! I hope you enjoyed my latest rant, as another treat, you can view the 16 minute walk and talk shit into a camera, I laughingly called a podcast, which I recorded last Thursday on my home from the gym at the link below:
Until the next entry, everyone, count your blessings in life, remember that which you are grateful for, and keep winning one day at a time!
Goodnight and God bless you all,
Steven
#RONIN #RoninStateOfMind #OSU #Aragami
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